Hilarious ...

Excerpt from this site :

"Our sophisticated proprietary automation and unparalleled client service delivers an enhanced execution that is virtually unmatched in our industry"

"One of the critical ingredients in creating the added value..."

"The firm uses a variety of futures, options, and other instruments to hedge its positions and limit its risks"

"...these highly prudent risk management policies protect the interests of clients as well."

"...the firm can customize client reports and deliver them electronically in whatever format best meets the needs of clients"

"...has one of the most sophisticated disaster recovery facilities found anywhere in the securities industry"

"...maintains a fully equipped and staffed facility located near LaGuardia Airport" (With a plane ready to fly away ?)

And, best of the best :

"The owner's name is on the door"

"Bernard Madoff has a personal interest in maintaining the unblemished record of value, fair-dealing, and high ethical standards that has always been the firm's hallmark".